Bittersweet Memories
by emerald-fire-angel
Summary: #45 – Naked: In his final moments, memories that he has suppressed for so long are laid bare in his mind, and he regrets, relishes and is saddened by the all things he’s done... He remembers his life, his bittersweet memories. 50 Themes. Lelouch-centric.


**Author's Note: 50 Themes. Lelouch-centric.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. **

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**#01 – Motion**

He leans back in his chair, watching his plans in motion.

**#02 – Cool**

His face is a cool mask, but emotions are raging on the inside.

**#03 – Young**

There was a time when they were young and carefree; no longer.

**#04 – Last**

Until his last day came to pass, he would continue to create a new, kinder world for Nunally.

**#05 – Wrong**

He doesn't want to face the fact that for once, he could be wrong.

**#06 – Gentle**

His arms wrap gently around Nunally and he lifts her onto her bed.

**#07 – One**

She is the only one, the only one who he strives for.

**#08 – Thousand**

Nunally once told him that she would fold a thousand cranes, and then she'd get her wish.

**#09 – King**

He is the king, so he cannot fall, for if he does, it's game over.

**#10 – Learn**

He doesn't listen in class while in school, but he still learns anyway, just topics not covered in syllabus, such as how to lead a rebellion.

**#11 – Blur**

The line between good and evil has blurred for him; the end justifies the means.

**#12 – Wait**

He's not going to sit quietly and wait for someone else to do it, he'd rather do it himself.

**#13 – Change**

He will change the world, no matter what.

**#14 – Command**

He is the commander of a rebellion, so he must show no weakness.

**#15 – Hold**

Emotions have too great a hold on him, so he tries in vain to struggle out of them.

**#16 – Need**

There's a difference between need and want; he wants to live a normal life, but he needs to change the world in order for that to happen.

**#17 – Vision**

His vision is unclouded and flawless and he looks at the chessboard carefully as he decides his next move.

**#18 – Attention**

His attention must not waver, he must not be distracted by anything or anybody.

**#19 – Soul**

For a fleeting moment, he wonders where his soul will go after he dies, since he's killed so many people and committed so many sins.

**#20 – Picture**

He knows the phrase "a picture is worth a thousand words" is true, since the day he saw Nunally pick up an old picture from when they were children, and asked him to tell her what it was about, and no matter what he said, he couldn't find the words to describe the blissful innocence on their faces.

**#21 – Fool**

Suzaku was a fool, always a fool when it came down to honour or valour.

**#22 – Mad**

He reckoned that Suzaku had gone insane or just plain mad after Euphemia died.

**#23 – Child**

The day he saw his mother dead and Nunally with crimson flowing from injuries in her legs, his childhood ended.

**#24 – Now**

He was content to just enjoy the present for now, while all three of them- Nunally, Suzaku and himself were content.

**#25 – Shadow**

He watched as shadows gradually crept around his heart, only leaving flickers of light for every person he could trust, Suzaku, Nunally, Shirley, C.C and others, and then, he watched as those lights gradually flickered into shadowy nothingness as those people died, as trust was destroyed.

**#26 – Goodbye**

He doesn't mind saying his final goodbye to Nunally because, he knows that she'll be alright, because she's finally able to open her eyes and see the world.

**#27 – Hide**

He needed to hide behind the mask of Zero to, if not, they would have found out that he was a cast away prince of Britannia.

**#28 – Fortune**

Scientifically, fortune telling makes no sense, but neither does the very existence of Geass, the foundation of this bloody throne he has built.

**#29 – Safe**

He prays that Nunally will be safe, and that Suzaku will forgive him for condemning him to such a fate.

**#30 – Ghost**

He faces a past, all of which remains are mostly ghosts, and a future, which will soon cease to exist.

**#31 – Book**

He knows that the name he will leave behind in the chronicles of humans, he will be a devil, a demon emperor, but he doesn't really care, because those who are important to him know who he really was and his reasons for doing what he did.

**#32 – Eye**

His eyes lit up with the Geass insignia as he used Geass on Nunally for the first and last time.

**#33 – Never**

Nunally would never know what he'd said to her while she was under his Geass, how proud of her he was and how grateful he was to her, for finding her own path and letting him continue on his own till the very end.

**#34 – Sing**

He remembers Nunally's lilting voice, soft and sweet, imitating a lullaby his mother had once sang for them.

**#35 – Sudden**

Suddenly, she knew what was happening, what her brother had been trying to do all along.

**#36 – Stop**

As he walked away, she screamed, telling him to stop, but he hadn't even looked back until she fell from her wheelchair, and even then, he merely gave her a cold glance.

**#37 – Time**

How he wished that time could go back, so they could be happy and together.

**#38 – Wash**

He washed the world clean of war and strife, taking the entire world's hatred upon himself.

**#39 – Torn**

He could only hope the hole he'd torn in her life would heal someday.

**#40 – History**

He knows that history is built on blood and sacrifice, and so he creates history, and with it, the future of the world.

**#41 – Power**

Since he had power, he would use it, to cleanse the world and create the world Nunally had always wished for.

**#42 – Bother**

He wasn't really bothered with anything anymore, except Suzaku and Nunally, who was the reason why he did everything.

**#43 – God**

He is not a God even though he can destroy worlds and create them.

**#44 – Wall**

A wall has been created on the path of his life, and it encompasses everything, and he knows he come to a dead end.

**#45 – Naked**

In his final moments, memories that he has suppressed for so long are laid bare in his mind, and he regrets, relishes and is saddened by the all things he's done.

**#46 – Drive**

Nothing Nunally said now could drive him to continue living, because he had decided that this was for the best long ago, and his determination to do what he felt was best for her would not falter.

**#47 – Harm**

He knows his death will harm her, will hurt her, but he thinks, in the long run, it's for the best.

**#48 – Precious**

She and Suzaku are the last two people still alive who he feels are precious to him, so he prays for their happiness.

**#49 – Hunger**

He craves for her acceptance in his final moments and she gave it readily, telling him how much she loved him.

**#50 – Believe**

Now, all he can do is pray and believe that they will be okay, and even if it couldn't be now, someday.

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**Author's Note:**

**Thank for reading this! This is a birthday present for chocolateheaven88, one of my best friends whose birthday was a little while ago. Happy Birthday!**


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